Family estrangement (परिवारके मनमुटाव,કુટુંબના અણબનાવ)is the physical and or emotional distancing between at least two family members.Gradually its having its own tendency to spread among other family members and very close relatives.We try to seek its solutions by various ways like discussion with our so called well wishers,religious and/or physiological counselling,sharing emotions with beloved etc.All of these solutions may work or do not work,its all depends upon severity of the matter.But one internal quality definitely works which is ‘Emotional empathy—the ability to share the emotions of another person’.
Barriers to Emotional Empathy :
There are at least five fatal barriers to establishing empathy in our family or intimate relationships:
1. I don’t want to go first. In any relationship, both members need empathy. But at any given moment, empathy is unidirectional—it can only flow in one direction at a time. Which means someone has to go first. Someone has to be willing to meet the needs of the other, before their own needs are met.
2. I don’t agree with you. Empathy requires us to place ourselves in another person’s shoes, to allow our hearts to beat to the rhythm of theirs. We often fundamentally disagree with their perspective, and so we are tempted to debate them intellectually, rather than join them emotionally.
3. What if I get it wrong? When we try to place ourselves squarely inside of someone else’s emotional landscape, it can be a little scary. It’s unfamiliar territory. They are inviting us in, but what if we get it all wrong? Empathy can be terrifying if we have any perfectionism within us.
4. I don’t want to feel that. On the other hand, we might know exactly what another person is feeling. It may bring up thoughts and feelings in you that you would prefer to avoid. If we don’t want to feel our own sadness, we won’t want to feel sadness on behalf of the person we love.
5. It’s not my job to fix you. We confuse empathy with “fixing.” We think we have to do something to take the emotion away, and we don’t want to be put on that hot-seat. Or some of us will have the opposite reaction: I’m going to fix you. But this undermines our ability to provide empathy, as well. Because empathy is not fixing. Empathy is joining.
- Ref :http://drkellyflanagan.com/2013/03/06/the-5-barriers-to-empathy-in-marriage-and-how-to-overcome-them/
- Image Ref : http://worldofdtcmarketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/empathy-quotes-1.jpg