Still holding a grudge? You are feeling hurt by someone, maybe your beloved one! Here’s how to make peace with those who may have wronged you – and find more peace for yourself in the process.
Some people can easily forgive others, but for most people, forgiveness takes some preparation and effort. But forgiving others is essential for personal growth. Your experience of someone who has hurt you, while painful, is now nothing more than a thought or feeling that you carry around. These thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that will dis-empower you if you continue to let these thoughts occupy space in your head. If you could release them, you would know more peace.
That’s not as common as you might hope, but it is possible. For most people, though, forgiveness takes some preparation and effort. These pointers can help you get started.
Forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. … Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.
What forgiveness is and is not.
- Forgiveness IS NOT:
Saying or thinking that something someone has done is all right
Forgetting what a person has done
Restoring your relationship
Acting toward someone as if they had never done what they did
Restoring faith or trust in a person
- Forgiveness IS:
Deciding that what the person did is not worthy of your attention right now
Revoking the emotional investment you have been making in what was done to you.
Evicting an unworthy “tenant” from the “real estate” of your mind by no longer replaying what the person did.
According to the original Greek of the Bible, it simply means letting go – not of the memory but of the energy you infused into your replaying of the memory in your mind.
Not holding the other person accountable to you for their past deeds, and letting goes of any wish for revenge.
- How do you truly forgive someone?
Make the decision to let it go. Things don’t disappear on their own. …
Express your pain — and your responsibility. …
Stop being the victim and blaming others. …
Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy. …
Forgive them — and yourself.
The first stage of forgiveness is hurt. Someone has been unfair to me and I cannot forget it. I feel hurt. The hurt keeps on throbbing within me. My ego is hurt. Agree but always remember that I have to forgive for my own peace of mind.
I am a full-stack engineer whose passion lies in building great products while enabling others to perform their roles more effectively. I have architect and built horizontally scalable back-ends; distributed RESTful API services; and web-based front-ends with modern, highly interactive Ajax UIs.
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